Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Update on my Ramblings

My office and craft area are set up and ready for me to get organized. I'll need some more shelves. Mark says they will start going up tomorrow, he'll have to make some though. For now I'll figure out something. Tomorrow, THE BASEMENT!!!!! And I got the notebooks out. I'm excited about the new year because I really do plan on being a new person by the end of it. We only need to get back on the right track. Maybe when I get the clutter, like no jobs, off my mind. Mark start's school in March. Just another month for us to hang by our fingernail's then I'll be less stressed.

Rambling’s In This Woman’s Mind


Have you ever gotten into a slump and needed a beehive kicking to get you out of it?I’m bi-polar and need it often but it seems no one will give it to me. My fiancĂ©e says that I can be a little, shall we say intimidating at time’s. So, I end up giving myself one.

Like now for example, there are eight people living in my three bedroom house. No one is working right now (Mark and I was laid off back in Oct. and neither of us have found jobs yet). The only money coming in is my unemployment and child support, which is not enough to pay the rent. Luckily, I have a really good relationship with my landlord and have never been late until now, so he is working with us. The only thing I don’t have to worry about is food. The kids fight and argue about helping to keep the house cleaned. They only have to do general pick-up and they act like it will kill them.

For twelve years I was abused and have only been out of that for two years. So I’m still dealing with the fall out from that. Mark also was abused by his ex-wife and he’s still dealing with that. Then there was the holiday’s which wasn’t fun for me.

But now, they are over and the New Year is around the corner I have decided that I’m going to get my act together and do something for myself and my family. I’m going to kick my own beehive. Here are the however many steps, that I’m going to take to get myself together and my writing as well.

1. I am going to get my house organized this week. The things that get put off because your day is broken up into kids “out of school - kids in school” is going to get done this week. There is no reason for me to be so OCD that I can’t let Mark and the kids help me out. They just need to pay attention to what needs to be done and the way it needs done. I’m going to make a list for each of them and tomorrow it is work time. I promise myself this but I’ll let you know how it goes.

2. Today, I am going to get my office and craft area set up. Then I’m going to put a notebook and pen in EVERY room in the house. And if the kids TOUCH it I’m going to hang them from the ceiling fan and turn it on high. Make them look like one of the Gremlins.

3. Every day I am going to write something, anything in order to get back to my writing. I’ve always loved it and want to do it , so instead of wanting I need to DO it. But, as you can see my mind ramble’s so much that I can’t keep a coherent (love spell check) string of thought. So, I’m going to work on that using my writing so I can finish my book, which of course, is the real goal for the year. Doesn’t have to be sold, it just has to be written. Even if it’s just the rough draft.

4. I’m going to work on feeling and being less socially accord. I was so isolated for so long that and through so much that I no longer know how to act around people. And have a very negative attitude most of the time. I don’t like it so I’m going to change it.

5. Work towards turning ME into the person I want to be.

Ok I’m done rambling for now. If you made any sense of this let me know I’ll be happy to hear someone did.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Lieing To Our Children

For Christmas my seven year old received a stamp set. You know the kind, different animals and designs that you stamp on paper for scrap booking and things like that. Well, I saw nothing but trouble and I was right. She stamped all over her sister's pillow case. and then lied about it. We tell our children not to lie to us and they get in trouble if they do, more trouble then if they told the truth.

But what abut us adults, we lie to them all the time. Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and the list goes on. We also tell them not to take candy from strangers but most still take their kids door to door for trick or treating and we lie and tell them there is an Easter Bunny Then there's don't take gifts from strangers but we lie to them and tell them there is a Santa Claus.

I know that those beliefs are supposed to be part of the "magic of childhood" but it's still a lie and a double standard. If we don't want our children to lie to us then why should we lie to them about anything. We are supposed to be sitting the example. If you want the "magic and wander of childhood" take your kids outside and show them the beauty of nature when they are little. Or just watch them as they learn each new thing. I don't know about you all but for me, today I'm going to sit my kids down and tell them the truth. There is no Easter Bunny, that there is no man that goes around the world in one night. Though the SPIRIT of Santa is
the unselfish giving. In other words I'm not going to lie to my kids anymore. The double standard is going to stop. On Halloween I'll throw them their own party and invite only the kids we know.